During a recent training course, I was asked to think about how my own leadership had been influenced and shaped by my life experiences and by people who I had been led by along the way.
I closed my eyes, and found myself digging into and waking up some memories that had long lain dormant.
And in some cases, as the memories woke up, so did the feelings that went with them. Some good. Some bad.
There was the time a manager said to me ‘I hear you have a bun in the oven’ after my supervisor had told him I was pregnant. I was 22, single, new in the role, and feeling very vulnerable and uncertain about what lay ahead. His insensitive comment, accompanied by a jeering laugh, didn’t help.
There was the time a manager told me to ‘tone it down’ but offered, even when I requested it, no evidence of where he thought I’d been ‘too loud’. I felt rejected, misunderstood, like I didn’t belong as myself.
I even recalled teachers from my school days who I’d adored…and those I didn’t…and the stark difference between feeling supported and encouraged versus ‘this is my job, just do as I say’ attitudes and ‘what d’you mean you don’t understand?!’ rants at children just trying to learn.
The point is, leadership is a journey, and we are influenced, colored, tainted, grown, motivated, horrified by the leaders we experience along the way. Our childhood care-givers, our teachers, our sports coaches, and our bosses, from our first job straight out of school or tertiary education, all the way through to our current.
All of it shapes us, and our own leadership.
It’s like baggage we carry for life. Sometimes we pack what we need, sometimes we pack what we don’t need.
For me, I didn’t want to be the kind of leader who made others feel or think less of themselves. I knew how it felt to be led that way. Not good.
I wanted to take all the negative experiences I’d had along the way and set fire to them in my soul, and use that energy to lead others the way I would have liked to have been led, and to reflect (and honour) the best of the values and behaviours of those who championed me along the way, where their values became my values.
Our life journey becomes our built-in teacher and mentor.
It shapes how we see ourselves.
It shapes how we think and how we act.
It shapes our impact on others.
It’s a journey that continues each and every day.
And, if we are prepared to dig into ourselves, and shine light on our experiences and our learned responses, we give ourselves the opportunity to develop awareness and make conscious choices in how we put those experiences to creative, effective use in our leadership.
Each and every day.
❓What is it about your life journey that shapes and influences your leadership today?
❓Where to next?
If you’re curious or unsure, take your next step and reach out to me.
