Do you know someone who uses ‘all or nothing’ type language? Perhaps you’re one of them yourself?
You know the words…”I will NEVER get the job I really want”, “It’s impossible, I CAN’T do it”, “NOBODY thinks I’m good enough for that”.
It’s pretty damning language. Pretty finite. No options. End of the road. “I’ve given up” type talk.
Perhaps the more realistic language, behind phrases like this, might be “I don’t have the confidence to develop the skills needed for the job I really want, what if I fail?”, “It is possible, but it’s too much effort”, “It’s me who doesn’t think I’m good enough”.
Those are MUCH harder conversations to have with yourself. Because it means the responsibility for your thinking, choices and actions lie squarely with yourself.
Ouch.
It’s a lot easier, though, when you’re having those sorts of conversations with someone who has your back and believes completely in you and your potential.
Perhaps a great boss. A best friend. A trusted coach.
I’ve revealed things to my coach that I would struggle to say to anyone else. And I’ve always felt lighter and more empowered once I’ve voiced out loud what really needed to emerge.
It’s like laying your cards on the table. The ones you’ve kept hidden at the bottom of the pack, in the back of the locked drawer.
Once you lay them out and see them in front of you they don’t seem quite so scary.
You can start to unpack what you really think and feel, one card at a time, you can look at them from different angles. Gain insights. Learn new things.
And make new choices, new decisions. That feel right in your head, and right in your heart.
It’s the best feeling, as a coach, helping my clients get from “I will never” to “I will”. From “I can’t” to “I can, just watch me”. From “nobody thinks I’m good enough” to “l know I’m good enough”.
It’s a whole different energy!
With vastly different results.
So what cards do you have hidden away, and how do you want to play them?
