‘Confidence’ isn’t something you can just pick off the shelf and fling into your trolley during your weekly shop.
There’s no magic pill. And no guaranteed formula.
Confidence is something that takes time, effort and patience to build.
And it takes courage and determination to keep going, especially when things don’t go quite right, and we start telling ourselves loudly things like ‘what’s the point’ or ‘who am I to think…’
It helps to have a bit of a strategy, and these are some of the things I’ve found really helpful along the way…
It’s important to have a strong network made up of people you trust (a colleague, a friend, a mentor) who will give you kind and honest feedback, and encourage and support you when you doubt yourself.
Develop a growth and learning mindset. Be curious. Learn new stuff. Bring theory to life. Accept failure is a part of learning. Embrace paradox and ambiguity. It all develops your competence on your journey to confidence.
Share what you know with others as it helps to embed what you know, and highlights what you still need to learn. It also means others will respect what you know and your willingness to share and support them, and they will respond in kind.
Get clear on your strengths. You may be a good listener, have meticulous attention to detail, strong critical thinking skills, or be a great organiser. Unleash your strengths, build on them. Your trusted network can help you identify them if you can’t see them yourself.
Focus on what you can control. This is a biggie. You control your thoughts, your choices, your behaviours, your actions, your boundaries and what goals you set yourself. It can really erode confidence, and waste energy, trying to change or influence those things over which you have no control, and never will.
Be prepared to keep working at it, pick yourself up when you stumble, dust yourself off, and, with time, you’ll have earned the right to say, with confidence, that you feel confident.
