The pursuit of perfection is like being on a quest with no idea what the final destination is, or what the treasure will look like. All that traipsing about getting hot and sweaty, your load getting heavier and heavier to carry, never getting ‘there’, wherever the heck ‘there’ is.
Because ‘perfect’ is never perfect enough. The very concept of perfect is imperfect.
The pursuit of perfection means never being satisfied with what we do or how we see ourselves, so we go all out to undermine ourselves with our negative imaginings of how others are judging us. We become a victim of our toxic creativity. We try and cling to control.
Perfection is an illusion, a figment of our own imagination, a toxic seed that was somehow planted in our past that, in our present, distorts us with its twisted vines and poisonous thorns. Perfection isn’t tangible. It’s just an idea of a thing, leaving us feeling…well, imperfect. Dissatisfied. Inadequate. Unlovable. Undeserving. It’s a heavy load to carry.
So we keep our distance for fear of being noticed and judged, we play it small so we can’t be criticised by others, we avoid the messiness and vulnerability of getting things wrong, of being imperfect, of being authentic. Or we become unhealthily obsessed with chasing our idea of perfection, and it’s exhausting, debilitating. We disconnect from ourselves, our true needs, in pursuit of an unattainable state.
Imperfection is real: people ARE messy, relationships ARE messy, we AREN’T good at everything, we DO get things wrong, we DON’T know everything, we CAN’T control anything outside of ourselves, we ALL need support, we ALL need friends, we are ALL lovable, we ARE all enough. We are ALL imperfect, always, no matter how much perfection we strive for.
Imperfection offers us so much and more:
🔸the joy of creating for the sake of it, rather than to create a masterpiece
🔸the fun of writing just to get our tangled thoughts out there, rather than to create a #1 selling novel
🔸the revelations of connecting with someone, rather than hiding in our shame of inadequacy, and
🔸the freedom of just yelling “&$*% it, I’m perfectly imperfect!”
We find our true selves by loving our imperfections. Every last one of them.
So next time something goes wrong, celebrate and shout out a loud ‘woohoooo, I’m imperfect and I’m not alone!’
As Brené Brown says in her incredible book “The Gift of Imperfection”: ‘Yes I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging’.
❓ are you carrying the heavy habit of perfection?
❓ what do you need so you can let go?
❓ how would you celebrate your magnificent imperfections?
